Alex Jones has said a lot of crazy shit and absolutely none of it was as wild as finding out that there's microplastic in the dickmeat.
Yeah OK, the microplastics are getting into algae and stuff, and sea turtles are choking on beer cartilage or whatever, that shit sucks for sure. But pretty el fucking rapido after an interested, concerned, literate person might start to worry about the threat of things going any farther than that, a bored researcher read an article about the most recent method of finding it as applied to some specific highly vascular tissue, and he wanted to check out the science. So he looked through the catalogs or whatever and the affordable, available in quantity human and animal vascular tissue was dickmeat. No matter what it is you seek in this world, there's always plenty of penis to be had if that's what you decide you'll settle for when the search becomes tiresome.
So the guy sifts the dickmeat with the newest most advanced ultra-sieves and finds out that yeah, your dick (and your dog's dick - he used human and canine samples) is chock full of microplastics which means there's a great chance that so is anywhere blood goes a lot in your body. It is buried in there deeper, more thoroughly, and in particle sizes smaller than previously considered. When industry let go of BPA and a lot of the fluorine chemistry without any fuss at all, and had viable replacements ready with no break in major production, it was clear to me that they had learned from Phillip Morris. It's inside every single part of you and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and nobody knows exactly how bad it is yet because we don't even have a full generation of data. The people running this disposable toxic waste planet have now, finally and irrevocably, started to alter your meat vehicle without your knowledge or consent.
You are living in a Junji Ito novel and you, and me, and everyone else you know is just one of the piles of mutated corpse sludge in the background.
Look on the bright side. The guy was able to apply a cutting edge scientific technique in a way that validated it conclusively and opened the door to an extremely important question which can be investigated immediately with the newly validated tool. Science works.