December 23, 2009

I blame a crappy day at work, and omnipresent holiday music. Hearing "it's the most wonderful time of the year" for the zillionth time, and muttering under my breath "no it's not the most wonderful time, it's the most harrowing time!" led to this.


It’s the most harrowing time of the year,
Behind the cash register,
We’re getting edgier,
Black Friday’s here,
It’s the most harrowing time of the year.

It’s the worst retail job season of all,
We’ve got loud shrieking children,
And problems with billing,
And lines down the hall!
It’s the worst retail job season of all.

There’ll be discount demanders,
Customers sans manners,
And squabbling families all day.
There’ll be creeps making passes,
And rude yelling asses,
All shoving folks out of their way.
 
It’s the most harrowing time of the year.
Some shoplifting amateur
Fights with the manager.
The cops should be here!
It’s the most harrowing time of the year.

There’ll be “I deserve this”ers
And dressing room pissers,
And “get a real job, why don’t you?”
There’ll be “get me the boss, NOW,
You stupid old fat cow!”
When you don’t have that size nine shoe.

It’s the most harrowing time of the year,
Behind the cash register,
We’re getting edgier,
Black Friday’s here,
It’s the most harrowing time of the year.

The greypink sky shifts to black.
Treading the park with the dogs.
Black shadows gallop past, panting happily.
I think we have become nocturnal.
We drag a fallen branch home for firewood;
moths to the the porch light.

For the past 2 days, I've been doing The Winter Cleaning ( which actually means gathering all unused stuff in a large pile in the middle of the living-room, then sorting everything according following this rule: "Will I ever use this, and, if so, to which purpose?")
When it came to "clothes chapter", being a girl&stuff, I found a lot of unworn goodies. So, I thought to myself:
"Heeey, why don't I check with my neighbor, to see if her 6yr old fits them?!"
Being such a small attempt of a creature, it should have been piece of cake...

After knocking at their front door, I was politely invited in; while I stated my reasons for my surprise visit, Andrei (that's the little leprechaun's name), was monkeying around in my baby-blue jersey.
His mother was kinda' busy with all the preparations for the Seasonal Holidays, so I told her I'd be more than happy to baby-sit. While she noded, I couldn't overhear her last pieces of advice, because the little weasel grabbed me viciously by the hand and dragged me like a hurricane through the house, so he could show me his bburago collection...
We played "blind ol' hag" ( a kiddies' game, in which one of the part-takers is blind-folded and has to catch the others. The rest of players find not-so-accessible spots in the room, and, either sit very, very still, or move swiftly through the place, being careful not to get caught. I usually hold my breath, so I can detect the exact position of ones' movements/breath sounds.)

  Afterwards, we watched untranslated CN, and immitated all the characters we saw while we were catching our breaths from all that laughing.
We giggled like crazed hyenas, until our bellies ached... Wow! I had so much fun with Andrei! He reminded me of how easy it is to just be...

Then, he settled down in front of the Tv, playing a "Speed Race"; meanwhile I crashed on the couch, lit a cigarette, reached for my phone so I could write this down... Inbetween blue smoke waves, my pupils were keeping him under surveillance.
I secretly  smiled, realizing, that one day, he's going to be quite a heartbreaker.
Indeed: with those big emeralds he sees the world through, shaded by thick, charcoal lashes..
  He's a manipulative little monster! Using the same technique as Yours Truly ( The Puss'n'Boots from Shrek - Way ), I could hazzard myself into predicting quite a numerous collection of tears behind him...