an email from oenone on christmas:
i would like to express
my most sincere appreciation
and love
to everyone who has watched over me
while my wings were broken
today i soar...
write me, if you will.
tell me what makes you feel alive.
my answer here...
Merry christmas to you, love--glad that you are once again your old bitter,
angst riddled self...love you...
I dont think so much that I deserve the sentiment you sent me. It was however, very much appreciated...
Sorry I could not be more of a friend in your time of
need than I was, but we are both very aware of my shortcomings in that area...
sigh
..alas.. As for your request...
Not sure that you really care, but I will respond in hopes that it may somehow give you some comfort, and/or hope that I, as a friend, could not.
What makes me feel alive...
1. Walking into a
bookstore
any bookstore, anywhere in the world...
the smell of printed pages, the general
ambiance of a wealth of knowledge, goals, dreams, aspirations, madness, and urequited loves to be discovered...
2. The sight of
water
an ocean, a lake, even something so small as a stream...
any natural body of water--the timelessness of natures
wonder...
our cousin in element, in that we are ninety percent water..and that I believe, is what causes so many of us to feel so relaxed, such a kindred
spiriting in the company of water.
3. The redeeming touch of
a child
that soft, supple, all consuming touch of a child's hand placed on our arm--that touch in which all is forgiven...
all of our
transgressions, broken promises, unfulfilled obligations, unmet dreams, heartbreak. All that we have failed to be is forgiven in the simple forbearance of a child.
Tobi...
the only child whom I shall ever love and to whom I mean so much, in spite of myself.
4. The
smile, or laughter of someone whom we love
though a
gulf divides our hearts, your laughter still pierces my very flesh and sinks itself like a sliver of glass into my pulsing heart
...
5. Standing alone outside, late at night, when all the world slumbers...
gazing up at the
stars--to feel so alive in the face of such immensity as the universe...
the glow of the moon washing over your upturned,
tear stained cheek...
the gentle kiss of the
night...
I could go on and on, but for now I think that is enough...
Hope that it is what you wanted, and that it somehow
helps you ...I love you ...always..in my heart of hearts...
Keith