Q: Have you found Jesus?
A:
-- I thought he was with you!
-- Where did you see him last?
-- Have you checked the lost-and-found?
-- I thought you put him in your pocket!
-- Not yet, he's found one hell of a good hiding spot.
-- I left him right on the table and then forgot about him.
-- All I have to do to get him to come back is set out a basket of fish and bread in his favorite place.
-- Oh where, oh where has my little Jesus gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?
-- I thought I almost reached him, but I was holding the map the wrong way.
-- I tried putting his address in my GPS but the directions just told me to go straight up.
-- Are you kidding? Heaven is in central Connecticut, and we're in Boise.
-- Look, when Jesus comes back I guarantee you and me and everyone else is going to know about it.
-- No, but I'll catch that slippery son of a bitch if it's the last thing I do.