I
first heard the name “Venusian Kazoo” when I was doing a search on a
subject that is very near and dear to my heart - a form of
cunnilingus using your lips to “buzz” her
clitoris. It’s dear to my heart because I have been doing
this for my wife for our entire 29 year marriage. The internet search
wasn’t very fruitful though. The only reference I found was to something
called the Venusian Kazoo here on Everything2, but that was long after
I’d been doing it for my wife without knowing what to call it. It’s kind
of tricky and requires some effort and endurance on your part but it’s
not hard and the gratitude you get from her will be well worth it.
You
wanna know how I came up with the idea? One night being playful in bed
with my wife I made a
“raspberry” on her on her smooth,
tight 20 year-old belly. My wife laughed so I did it again but a little
lower down and she laughed again. Then a lightbulb went off in my head.
“I wonder” I thought. So I kept going lower until I touched her clitoris
and, boy, she reacted like I’d put her finger in an electrical socket.
But she wanted me to do it again so I did and she quickly had an orgasm -
much quicker than with my usual tongue-flicking. Follow these
instructions and I think she’ll thank you for it in the morning.
A
couple things to be aware of. 1) She might or might not experience
female ejaculation when she cums. If the idea of
getting it on your face, and maybe even your mouth, freaks you out then
maybe you should look for your fun and games elsewhere. 2) It’s hard
work. Scrunching up your lips and buzzing as hard as you can for 30, 60,
90 seconds at time, non-stop for 5 or more minutes can be exhausting. I
suggest making a few practice buzzes to get your lip loose.
First,
give me a good ol’
Bronx cheer/raspberry, technically called a
“bilabial fricative.” Purse your lips, keeping them loosey-goosey and
blow but
DON’T BLOW INTO HER VAGINA! It could cause an
embolism which can be FATAL.
You
should produce a flappy sound. Now do it again but this time squeeze
your lips tighter and buzz harder to make a more intense, higher pitch
sound. It might help to put your lips on the top of your hand to have
something to buzz against. It’s the same technique that trumpet players
use to blow their horns. Quickly take another deep breath and do it
again for as long as you can. Inhale deeply but quickly each time to
maintain the buzzing with minimal interruption.
Like
anything daring and new you have to ease into it gradually. Start with a
light, low flappy buzz. This is where technique comes in. Like that
trumpet player, you’re utilizing your
embouchure which is
the collection of muscles around the mouth that control the lips. By
flexing those muscles in different ways you make your lips open, close,
smile, sneer, pout, spit, suck, kiss and, along with many other things,
buzz.
You’re
going to tighten and relax your lips to produce different intensities
and sensations. A loose-lipped buzz makes a flapping sound like a
whoopee cushion. For the woman (of course all women
are different) it’s like the feeling of a booming bass drum - a deep,
sonorous thrumming that sets up a low vibration, dispersing around the
whole body at once.
Next,
tighten your lips and buzz harder. The sensation becomes more intense
and focused. It’s the move that’s going to make her cum the quickest but
it can also be too much. She might need you to let up for a minute so
she can retreat and regroup before she allows you to proceed.
An
essential part of the technique is that you have to read her signs, her
responses, when to slow down, when to speed up, what variation to apply
when. You have to learn what she wants. Keep going until she has an
orgasm, which, I think you’ll find will be quite intense.
It’s takes some practice and and sustained effort but it’s amazing what it can do for her.