You
realize how
dependant the state of your
mind and
body is on
chemicals when you
wake up, your room drenched in
sunlight and your
body aching, your
mind is encased in a not completely unpleasant
serotonin-deprived
fog. You will feel like this for the rest of the day, after you've showered, and it doesn't make any sense at all to you that you do not feel
reborn after you are cleansed, why
everything is not back to
normal. You will feel like this for the rest of the day, and you will lay on a bed, unable to
concentrate on a movie fully, yet unable to think of anything else, and so instead you will run your hands through the curly black hair of the
boy sitting in front of you, and realize an
attraction for the first time.
Just breathe, just breathe, and remember that it's not real.