We do exist. There is not many of us, and the focus is usually on the
female anorexics, but still,
we are here.
Now, down to the
business.
When I was a
child, I was
skinny and
tall, proceeded to grow
plump and
tall, and then ended up the
way I am now. 60 kg and 187 cm. I didn't eat much. I still don't.
food is boring. It's not that I don't like the
taste of
food, but the
idea of
eating is something I find unexciting and dull. I eat once, max two times a day. I drink a lot of
coffee, because It stops the hurting in my
stomach. I reasoned this to people with an old
chinese proverb.
" Eat when It's Time, sleep when it's time, die when it's time. "
( I don't know if I got it completely right, but that's the spirit of it. )
Obviously, this has left me looking very
skinny,
pale and
tired. I like it. Every time I look in the
mirror, I think I'm a
good-looking son of a tunnel. I like my
reflection.
( I'm obviously a bit of a
narcissist, but what the
hell. ) What I never liked was to see myself on
videos and live
cameras. I still don't.
Every so often,
people would tell
me I was incredibly
skinny. I didn't think so. I thought I looked good. I can look on my
senes moving in my
hand, and I can see the
shape of my
bones.
I can count my
ribs in the
mirror. I can drum on my
collar bones.
( Quite a cool sound. )
Sometimes
people called me
anorexic as well. I scoffed at Ttem. Of course I wasn't. I knew I wasn't
skinny because I was afraid of being fat. I told them it was natural. I told them I knew
anorexia when I saw It.
Then, one day, I got some
pictures of me from a
friend. I didn't know. I really didn't know. I always felt since I knew how I looked, I didn't need to see
pictures
of myself. But these ones were supposed to be
something special.
( Like silly poses and stupid situations. )
What I saw was :
anorexia. I have it, and I have it bad.
The more I thought about it, the more obvious it was. I'm
anorexic. I still think it looks good. There is, for me, something incredibly more attractive about
underweight people, but right now, I realize I'm a
skeleton dipped in yellow wax.
This was a month ago. I'm still the same, but I try to do something about it. The
problem lies in overcoming my disgust for
food.
There is a very good thing about being
anorexic, and a very bad
thing, apart from that it might ultimately kill you.
The good thing is
Going Drag and the bad thing is
Otherwise heterosexual men that grope
my Arse.