My tipoff is when the
narrator drops into
language that is clearly inappropriate to the
characters or
setting.
For example, if 15 year-old
Catholic schoolgirl Suzy has just awakened the
hormones of
chaste and
pious Father Murphy, a dedicated man who has never had an
ungodly thought in his 57 years, the good
priest is going to be rather
trepadatious. He will be examining his feelings, excited by his new
consciousness of his body, but still possibly doubtful and
anxious. The narrator can communicate this using
fumbling or uncertain language. Father Murphy is NOT going to "unsheathe his throbbing cock and guide it towards her virgin asshole." And Little Suzy, even if she is thoroughly overwhelmed by her
lust for the man she loves -- she realizes now, she has
always loved, ever since he saved her from her abusive parents when she was nine and brought her to the academy to study under his guidance -- is not going to shout "Do me!" If either of them has heard the term at all, they are definitely not going to spell it "
cumming." Neither should the text.
Honestly, I think the line between
pornography, or even
erotica, and real
literature is not nearly as firm as we imagine. But even
porn that exists solely to help inexperienced 13 year-olds
beat off is more
enjoyable, and less
dehumanizing, when it takes its characters seriously and presents them as
coherent people rather than
graceless puppets.
Please, pr0n authors of the world, give them their own voice... even if they aren't going to have their mouths free very much.