First, I would like to comment that different dialects of a language will sound very different. I have been told that non-English speakers, when given samples of Irish English and (Standard) American English, often believe they are not the same language.

Russian sounds like a foreign language played backwards on a phonograph to me.

Dutch seems a very funny-sounding and -looking language to me, and to most other English-speakers I know. Probably because of its close similarities to our language, it looks and sounds like some weird mutant English. It also has odd letter-combinations almost never found in English, such as "aa", "ui", and "ij", and certain letters and letter-combinations such as "j", "z", "oo", and "ee" that are much more common in Dutch than English.


Another note is that, while German is often thought to be a very harsh-sounding language, the "harsh" consonants tend to be much less harsh in actual practice. The getting-ready-to-spit sound that English-speakers use to imitate the German ch (as in "akhCHCHchchCHCHhhhhhht" "eight") is not found in German; rather, it's much like an English "h", but a bit further forward in the mouth and with a bit more constriction. Final R-sounds in German are very soft, similar to French and British English. While German doesn't quite have the vocal, almost musical cadence perceived in French or Spanish, I found it to be a very pleasant-sounding language, especially in the dialect of Berlin.

Krok7's fake written German looks to mea lot like a blend of Dutch and German.