I wrote this little ditty some years
after my father died. He was born with a hole in his heart,
blue baby syndrome, so the amazing thing is that he lived
as long as he did. I must have been thirteen when he died
and for several years after I was unable to cry.
This was at that point my best attempt to get down how I was feeling, needless to say, not exactly a
happy bunny.
He was a great man and had a somewhat frustrated and tragic life but that's for another node and another time.
I think my greatest regret is that he never saw me through college, we never had the chance to sit down with a pint together and talk.
Tears
When night has closed upon me
and angels leave my mind
I delve deep inside me
to where my horrors hide.
A chasam deep awaits me
it's jaws are verry wide.
My past lies here benesth me
and yet I have not cried
Each tear I shed hits this mire and not my cheek
All I have left are memories which come and go.
And so i stop when memories' bells jingle, to remember more.
And old places that recall him hold me, my tears I hold
I saw him lying there leaving me, and I did not know.
The nurse smiled and said hello
the nun did not let him go
as he wanted to, and i sat there and I did not know.
I did not say such a simpe thing as 'I love you' and i cannot say it now
to those I love in case they leave and tears again I will not feel.
My cheeks are dry and have been so for many a year
but deep inside i drown behind a dam of lost time.
My life goes on but it will end and i have tasted death
For he is not here now my father draws no breath.
And when I die who will there be to remember him
and then to remember me
When night has closed upon me
and angels leave my mind
I delve deep inside me
to where my horrors hide.
A chasam deep awaits me
its jaws are verry wide
My future lies ahead of me
And still i cannot cry