A few days ago I received a series of texts. One was an unknown 'Hi, how are you?' Another offered me, a skilled worker, a job at triple my normal wages. Someone wanted to buy my house. And on on Facebook, the ordinary Hot Chick Friend Request.
Anyone with any social media presence at all knows of which I speak. If you're a man, as I am, you'll get a message asking for a friend request after lots of likes on whatever you recently posted. If you look the person up, she will be about 23 and wearing a push-up bra combined with a low cut blouse. If you're a woman, you might receive a friend request from a brave, handsome American fighting man serving his country bravely somewhere abroad, but lonely for the comforts only a real American woman with pre-menopausal hormones can provide.
How could any woman refuse such a handsome, virile patriot?
Now let me say as a 68-year old working class (albeit educated male) with a Dad-bod I who didn't vote for Donald Trump, I am quite well aware that Ms. Big Naturals might be pining for the fjords, but she is not pining for me. I am not that stupid. Nor was I stupid enough to contribute to put Mobutu Sese Seko back in power and then recieve his priceless gratitude and the stupid amounts of money you have to know would follow.
The thing is I get far more phone calls, text messages and emails from people who want to soak me out of my limited money than I do from people I actually care about. So I decided to grouse about it on Facebook. And guess what? I got a reply from one "Linda Marks". Her picture was a pretty redhead in a low-cut blouse showing off at least C-Cup Cleavage to my practiced eye. And this was her reply:
"I’m looking for a love that feels like home—warm, kind, and full of understanding. Someone to share smiles, laughter, and quiet moments with. I believe in a love where we uplift each other, grow together, and create a bond that feels unbreakable. If you're someone who values honesty, compassion, and joy, let’s write our story together."
Oh, Linda, your fair countenance has inspired me, and I know your passion and sincere desire for romance will last just as long as my bank account. And moreover, your inspiring message of sincere devotion was absolutely the perfect way to make my point.