There's a band I love that I still follow occasionally. Their music is enjoyable, but I prefer their earlier work, mostly due to nostalgia since I was there back then. Their newer music feels less authentic to me. It's ironic because their old songs were often abstract or nonsensical, yet felt more genuine and raw. Their recent material has shifted toward generic positivity. It's all 'love and light' and 'everything will be okay', which comes across as hollow and inauthentic to me in this day and age. More likely, I am just fucking cynical.
I still dance to every song though.
I just had an amazing 8 concert adventure and had the time of my life. I've made the decision to stop overthinking things and just live. For the past 10 years, I've only seen this band when they play locally, and honestly, why did I limit myself like that? Was I really being ethical by avoiding travel in today's world? The truth is, taking one flight to see them isn't going to make me significantly more responsible for environmental destruction. I hardly ever leave my house anyway, and when I do, I drive an electric vehicle. At this point, the planet seems to be headed toward disaster regardless of my individual choices.
So I danced. I danced like no one was watching and I danced like people wish they weren't watching.
I have to say, being indoors is definitely better than being outside during this time of year. When I'm outside, the heat is so intense I feel like I might pass out from heatstroke. The chain smokers everywhere make it even harder to breathe, and the humidity is unbearable. But there's one bright spot about being outside.. when I tell the vendors that I'm dying because it's never this brutally hot back home in Wyoming, they kindly fill up my Nalgene bottle with ice. I'm genuinely grateful to those people for their thoughtfulness.
I wasn't sure I'd still be able to dance with the same energy I used to have. But I proved myself wrong. I visited with old friends and, surprisingly, made some new ones too. Making new friends is usually challenging for me, but apparently dancing like the feral fool that I am has a way of making people warm up to you.
On my way home, I had a realization. Over the span of the adventure, I'd only experienced one truly bad moment. There was only one instance when the negative voice in my head broke through and took over. The rest of the time was pure bliss. So there's the solution.. I just need 4 hours of hardcore exercise daily to keep my depression away.
Next Tuesday, I'll be at a drum and bass party in Las Vegas. I am not sure why I said 'Yes', but I find it hard to say 'No' to Lesley. She makes everything an advenure.