Last year, I systematically destroyed every song I had ever written or recorded, lyrics and music. I thought it was a catharsis; I thought I needed to do that. Boy, was I wrong! I salvaged what I could weeks later... unfortunately it's only a poorly recorded techno song (my first creation) and a drum loop that I made. Most of those songs are now gone forever; most of those songs will never be heard by anyone; most of those songs... were never heard by anyone at all. They were a part of me, and now they are gone. Today I wrote a poem to reflect on that loss.
destruction of self
by means of hypocrisy
division of property
and erasure of original works
the beat might go on
but only for a while
for I put it on trial
it was sentenced to death
I killed a little piece of me
every time I pressed "delete"
calling it a catharsis
now I'm back with a vengeance
A song called "untitled"
completely unreplacable
though I've written dozens more
dealing with the linearity of life
through ignorance of strife
and carefully hidden pain
coping with emptiness
means losing myself
by emulating pieces
of a meaningless world.
Thanks for reading this. At some point, you just need to share it with the world, y'know?
Side note: this poem used to have another stanza on the end of it. It sucked. I took it out on December 27, 2002.