Socrates was most assuredly not one of these, as evidenced by the "heretofore unrecovered
Platonic Dialogue" below:
Crito: Socrates,
my good man, what is it you have there in your
hand? Do you not shame the
Oracle of Delphi and the gods, proving them
false in their declaration that you are
the wisest man in all of
Athens?
Socrates: Greetings
Crito. I wonder that you ask in such earnest what I hold in my hand when by the
natural light it is clearly a can of
Schlitz. As for your second question, what concern can it be to the gods whether I imbibe this
beer or no?
Crito:
My apologies, Socrates. Allow me to
explain myself. I had in mind your teaching on the subject of
virtue. Do you not recall it? No
man, you have said, can knowingly choose to do
wrong. He who truly has knowledge of what is
right and wrong must always select the right, for the right is, by definition, the better
path. Do you not here defy your philosophy with your present choice? Is it not clear by the
natural light of
reason that among beers, Schlitz must certainly represent the lesser path? The worse
course of action? What say you, Socrates?
Socrates: My
dear Crito, what you say is very
convincing. But let me respond to your questions by asking one of my own. Do we consider the
whole to be merely a certain number of its
parts, or rather all of its parts?
Crito: Certainly the whole must contain all of its part,
Socrates.
Socrates: Then, Crito, we may say, for example, that the
state is not only its
buildings or only its
citizens or only its
laws. As a whole, it is all of these?
Crito:
Yes, that much we can say.
Socrates: Would it be right, then, to say that a man
loves the state who loves only its buildings, or only its citizens, or only its laws?
Crito:
No, Socrates. Such a man loves only certain of its parts.
Socrates: So, Crito,
to love something truly is to love it as a whole, not merely certain of its
parts.
Crito: I must admit this is
true, Socrates.
Socrates: Well,
Crito, what would we say of a man who professed to love
numbers, but in
reality loved only certain numbers, and not the whole of them?
Crito: I do not see your meaning, Socrates.
Socrates: Then let me state it thus: When we
speak of numbers, do we speak of only some numbers, or of all
numbers?
Crito: Why all numbers, Socrates.
Socrates: And when we speak in general of
men, do we speak of all men or only certain of them?
Crito: Unless we say
otherwise, we must be speaking of them all.
Socrates: Then to speak
truly of
loving numbers, we must love the whole of them. And to speak truly of loving men, we must love the whole of them. Is that not
correct, Crito?
Crito:
Indeed, I see now that it must be.
Socrates: And what, then,
Crito, of the true
lover of beers? Does he love only some
beers, or does he
love the whole of them?
Crito: By our previous reasoning, Socrates, I should think he must love them all.
Socrates: And does the
man who loves a
thing seek to increase its
presence so far as he is able? Or does he rather
seek to
avoid it and decrease its presence?
Crito: Most certainly one does not avoid, but seeks out that which he loves.
Socrates: Then Crito, it seems that the true lover of beers, so far as he is able, wishes to increase the presence of that which he loves, seeking the most of it that his
drachma can
buy?
Crito: Yes,
Socrates.
It is so.
Socrates: Then
is not Schlitz, being the least costly of beers, and therefore the most amply acquired, also the only right and proper selection for the true lover of beers?
Crito: I suppose that must be so, Socrates. Perhaps I was
wrong to suggest that the
Oracle was in error. Or perhaps it is true what they say, that you are a
scoundrel who seeks only to make the
worse beer appear the better. I can hardly say I know anymore, Socrates.
Socrates: Good Crito, lend me your
trust in this
matter. I can tell you, in
Athens they serve drinks far worse than
Schlitz.
(written by Matt Burke, UMass Amherst)... this is not copyrighted so leave it alone.