In publishing, the quality of an academic journal is often gauged by how exclusive it is. Thus the higher the rejection rate of that journal (meaning, the more submitted papers it snootily declines to publish as falling below its lofty standards), the better of a journal it must be. It thusly follows that the finest journal in the world is the Journal of Universal Rejection, which rejects every single paper submitted to it, and so, is never actually able to put out an issue. If an author submits a piece to the Journal of Universal Rejection, their editors will happily review at and reject it straight off.

Wired magazine offers more details of the benefits of submitting to this journal, including the fact that they don't care whether you've simultaneously submitted your work elsewhere, and their return…

See, I had this nightmare last night. And it was a real doozy because it was a Sleep Paralysis nightmare. Those aren't the normal ones where you get chased by a monster or something. Oh no. If only it were that easy you could just wake up.

See, in a sleep-paralysis nightmare you're already half-awake. You can sort of see the real world, but you have no idea what's going on, like in a dream...only this nightmare has something most don't.

Because there's someone, or some thing, in…

We all know the Mummy, one of the classic movie monsters, brought into the public's consciousness by Universal Studios. He shares a 'verse with the flat-topped, bolt-necked Frankenstein Monster, the caped-and-tailcoated Count, and the upright-walking, respectably trousered Wolf Man. No doubt he fought and teamed up with all of them. A living dead remnant of ancient Egypt, the Mummy (usually named Kharis) wears the face of Boris Karloff, cracked and…