E2, Brute?

The Best of The Week


There was always watermelon

it was always summer

back then there was always a sun


things we never saw dogs chased up a tree 

we told ‘em to hush and the dogs got louder 

we had watermelon sliced 

and white paper plates balanced on our knees

and everyone warned us 

don’t eat the seeds

or else watermelons would grow out of our ears 

so we spit the seeds and had contests 


who could spit better and farther and faster 

and hit that big branch on the oak in the yard 

but we thought about things 

like watermelon seeds

and now we wondered what else was a lie

and it only got louder as we got older

we loved them the same but we trusted them less

and the sun got smaller 

and colder


and it’s always that way in a spitting contest.

I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. Not just the waking nightmare of watching the conspiracy theorists slowing taking over the public political discourse, but actual nightmare dreams. The worst involved me rescuing Tessie, who'd been kidnapped and taken to New York City's Chinatown with a ridiculous and scary Big Trouble in Little China plot. Other events included me being sexually assaulted and having to to kill one of my torturers (a scene reminiscent of

A warning song about a serial killer.

"The popular nursery rhyme "The Muffin Man" supposedly originated as a caution to children, warning them to beware of a 16th-century baker-turned-serial-killer who enticed his young victims by pulling a muffin down the cobblestone streets of London with a string."

Yes, it's true. The rumour

News for Noders

April 1: The E2 Dadaism Quest starts today! Please show off your Dadaist chops with lots of fig inverted urinal.

April 1: The 2024 LieQuest has been cancelled.

April 12: Yuri's Night

April 22: Happy Earth Day, fellow earthlings!

April 23: Saint George's Day.

April 24: Happy birthday, Rancid_Pickle!

April 30: Walpurgis Night.

If you have something to add to the monthly news, /msg Tem42.

March 14th: Pi day.

March 10th: Daylight saving time celebrated by many.

March 19th: The first equinox of the year.

March 31st: Happy birthday mad girl's love song!

Get ready for LieQuest 2024, starting on April 10th!

If you have an item for this calendar, /msg Tem42.

February 2: Happy birthday Auspice!

February 2: Happy birthday npecom!

February 5: Happy birthday wertperch!

February 8: Happy birthday to panamaus

February 15: Happy birthday Admin to the goo!

February 15: Terse Quest 2024 begins!

February 23: Happy birthday Samuel Pepys!

February 29: Happy birthday Browncoat!

If you have an item for this calendar, /msg Tem42.

January 1: Gregorian New Year.

January 16: National Nothing Day.

January 24: Happy Birthday Silverai_me!

January 26: Happy Birthday Segnbora-t!

January 30: Happy Birthday O-Swirl!

If you have something to add to the monthly news, /msg Tem42.

December 1: Iron Noder ends

December 9: Smallpox eradication day.

December 12: Happy birthday to horacetheclown!

December 18: Hanukkah begins.

December 21: Winter solstice arrives 10:27 PM, EST.

December 23: Happy birthday to Nemosyn!

December 25: Merry Christmas!

If you have an item for this calendar, /msg Tem42.