Having a penis is annoying

I think having a penis would be so much better than having a vagina. With a penis, there is no menstruation, no pregnancy, no PMS, no boobs. And what do guys have to deal with? Easy access for masturbation, no damned blood, no pain (unless it gets kicked...) All in all, I feel that guys have no reason to complain about penises. Its just not fair! All who complain should have to have a vagina for a month. And see what the other side of life is like.

Two words: visible erection.

(Recognised from such notorious occasions as: "Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" and "Young man....I'm flattered")

Frankly, the most annoying thing about having a penis (don't get me wrong, though - my penis is my best friend) is that it has a mind of its own. There I am, trying to concentrate, and the devilish little blighter decides to stand at attention. In public. While I'm trying to concentrate on the speech I'm giving to a class of fifty people, including some decidedly scrumptious undergraduate morsels. Oh, the mortification! Oh, the humanity!

Suffice to say, having a penis is like having one of those poodles that will wait for the most embarassing moment to start humping a guest's leg. Without any regard for your feelings in the matter.

Never a dull moment, eh?

The most annoying "feature" of penis is that it hinders your life just simply "hanging around". Now, when you are going for a run, say for two hours or for a marathon, you'll have a penis swinging between your legs. (Fair enough, females have parallelly tits bouncing on the chest..) I've seen people with a wounded penis after a marathon and it's not hard to imagine the horrid of that scene.

You may think it's nice to have a handy penis when you pee standing but just wait until you close your zipper. Who's the one that reminds you about its existence!?
Of course, those who haven't experienced the pleasure of having their dick sticking in the zipper may find it funny but as an utilitarist it's hard to find this malicious delight being greater than pains caused by zipped cock.

If genetic engineering has anything to offer they really should create a removable penis!

There is nothing annoying about it. It makes urination very easy. It doesn't hurt at all when kicked, and can shield the testicles from such assaults.

Well, OK. When you are young it can be annoying, because it needs occasional adjustment... but once it attains sufficient flaccid mass, it stays in one place. Adulthood is permanent.

It is low maintenance compared to a vagina. You have to have genuinely bad hygeine to get a yeast infection. It is not naturally moist so that and other infections have a hard time gaining a foothold. The turtle neck configuration has to be thoroughly cleaned every day, of course, but daily bathing is the norm in modern culture. The crew cut configuration is highly resistant to infections of every kind.

As far as the argument that it looks "silly" or "awkward", pfffft... Whatever. Function over form. I mean, really, just what the hell do you want it to look like?

Re: Dolphins and retractable penises... Human females have exposed genitalia. We don't need prehensile dicks like a dolphin does. (They would certainly be cool for PARTY TRICKS...)