Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Something I can, unfortunately, personally testify happened to me in my freshman year of high school. It happened fast enough that I didn't see who it was, but it was long enough that it wasn't an accident"

• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• You make a light in the world and you hope someone can still look up from the dust for long enough to see it
• Something was about to happen.
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• You wanting me to be well was not enough for me to want to be well
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• Once was enough
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• your fake name is not for everyone but good enough for me
• what happened wasn't necessarily an accident
• When someone was willing to drown with me, I really didn't want to drown anymore
• Around nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen.
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I Was On My Way Home When the Strangest Thing Happened
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
• there are people in the world who love you, and they will see that this suffering will not have happened in vain
• when was the last time you experienced something you didn't think was possible?
• If the Windows source code was leaked, what do you think would happen?
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• It's all a blank, which makes me think something far far worse has actually happened
• All you ever did was let it happen
• 2016 was bad enough. Is it only going to get worse?
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• (and it wasn’t in my time nor yet in your time: but a very good time it was for all that)
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• It was a dream. But it wasn't a dream.
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• can you get enough of me?
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• If you look hard enough, you can see Satan and his works everywhere
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• every statue in town came to life, but they'd been watching long enough to know better than to ever move
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• The World Was Wide Enough
• No one older than twenty-five was stupid enough to take a job here.
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• That too long hour never dim enough until sleep
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• Can you see the tension piling on me in waves? Look into my eyes.
• If you told me this never happened
• may you make mistakes large enough to learn from, but small enough that they do not destroy you
• Traffic lights that don't stay green long enough for everyone waiting to get through
• They can see that you're missing something inside
• A funny thing happened to me in the parking garage today
• please bully me; my life is not shitty enough
• A boating accident waiting to happen
• What happens when you wear your contact lenses for too long?
• High school can kill you
• it's like something big is happening right in front of us but we can't see it
• an accident waiting to happen
• Astro City #5
• Accidents Never Happen
• we went to the stars, but all we found was ourselves
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• Accidents will happen
• I am hoping for a hell deep enough to hold me. I am hoping for no way out.
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• What will happen to me, when you die?
• The Box Said 'Do NOT Open" But The Seal Was Already Broken
• A few, but enough.
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• You can win any argument on the internet by being stupid enough
• An accident impatient to happen
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• No point in mentioning the bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• What do you want to see happen?
• like you're blind but still can see
• sleep doesn't take me far enough.
• Something glorious is about to happen. A reckoning.
• Where were you when someone asked where you were when something happened
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• even the human lived long enough to worship the seasons
• One of the most irritating things that can happen when talking
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• The flowers smiled, but she was gone
• Nothing bad can happen to you in your sleep
• Programming for a drug dealer
• I didn't want to know where I was conceived
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• Enough with the high heels already
• I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
• At a high enough voltage everything conducts
• the god that can be killed was never god in the first place
• Something Happened
• Something Happens
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• Something Happened: The Pacific NorthWest E2 Gathering
• You're the best thing that ever happened to me, no matter what
• For when something happens and you and your shiftless friends are nonplussed
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• It happened a long time ago
• What Happened to the 56 Men Who Signed the Declaration of Independence
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• you never thought this would happen to you, but it did
• I Hate It When It Happens To Me
• Now let's see what has happened to us by adopting a sedentary lifestyle
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• It's cold today, but not cold enough for an ice storm
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• Noding for Numbers sure was silly, but it sure is better than Dada Fascism
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• the world's big enough, but how about your mind?
• Here's Me Inside Her But I Can Tell From Her Vagina She Doesn't Really Care
• Willy Loman was wrong in life but he was right on the inside
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• I'm not smart enough to use this trash can
• You can see right through me
• No evil can happen
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• I recall the last 20 years as succinctly as I can in one node: bear with me
• It is something very shameful. Please contact me again if I can be of further service.
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• can it be that it was all so simple then
• You can stand tall enough to cast a shadow, and you know this
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• Bragging about a high IQ is way worse than bragging about having a large dick. The latter can at least be demonstrably used for something and be put to good use.
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• I can prove that Jesus was both human and divine
• When left long enough, students will always discuss cartoons they watched as kids
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• She didn't know what outside was anymore.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• If you believe the world is 6000 years old, you aren't smart enough to hold public office
• I was wrong I didn't have everything
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• C is for cookie, and that's good enough for me
• If you play a note high enough, it becomes a beam of light
• He who has enough to eat does the hungry not believe
• True love has waited long enough
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• But seriously, a tragic thing happened down the street
• the key is thinking slow enough that you can put every thought to words
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• Give me enough time, and I will find a new way to say devotion.
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• a light wind is enough to make me smile or cry
• Opportunity bucks, and my hands are strong enough to hold fast.
• Of course the inmates are running the asylum, who else would be crazy enough?
• There was silence in my heart, but you found a way to break it.
• a hundred years is not enough
• I was in heaven, I was in hell. Believed in niether but feared them as well.

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