Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "he says it was because I was young, annoying, and when I spun my waist-length plait hit him in the face"

• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• I married him because he was not mean
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• When I was young Time had no wings
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• When I was young
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• When I was very young, I knew that the world was made of honey.
• when life was kind and we were two young wide-eyed believers
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• When I was Fair and Young
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• some say he was never here at all
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• More than he was willing to give
• With him it was always like
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• When she was bad
• When the Space Shuttle Columbia was destroyed on re-entry, I felt a deep sorrow that Cowboy Bebop was now implausible
• When I Was a Babe
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• November 4, 1995
• A pocket-sized device with a single button that says, "Everything as it was one minute ago".
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• When again between cities was comfortable and right
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• There was a rose that faded young
• I was Chris to him
• I am no longer the foolish young man I once was
• I was once young and had a home
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• And when she came back she was nobody's wife
• Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• I once was a clueless young noder
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• Pain and beauty, our constant bedfellows. Young as I was, I understood.
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• Once when I got like this I thought I was building a boat
• The smiles you smiled when you thought no one was looking
• I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
• Little plaques that say "So-And-So Was Born Here"
• That's Just How He Was
• Before I was consciously thinking of him, my body was
• I was trying to show him my insides, you know. I like to share.
• The sparkle of this angled blossoming was invading the Earth, and Vug said, "It's spring!" I kissed him.
• someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
• man when you are telling me how it was
• there was a time when you couldn't just learn things instantly
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• And When The Sky Was Opened
• Back when our blood was still warm
• Some time when I was a teenager
• You hit the nail on the head and the nail was directly above my heart
• I remember when all this was trees
• making certain he was touching her
• I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• At least he was gentle
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• This was when I knew my childhood was over
• When I Was One-and-Twenty
• When I was five
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• I was young and I needed the money
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• The Revolution was Postponed Because of Rain
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• The time a thug punched my friend in the face because he could
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• He Was a Crook
• he was a punk poet himself
• The first time I saw him was I emit tsal ehT
• When I Was A Baby
• Willy Loman was wrong in life but he was right on the inside
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• Oh, when I was in love with you
• and when you woke up, your goldfish bowl was empty?
• It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
• I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
• When I was 9
• He was found
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• the magic that was meant to capture the outlaw instead transformed him into a monster
• all it cost him was a Penny
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
• The light on the bottom of the pool that you thought was real when you were a child
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
• After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party!
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• It was the tree that gave him away.
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• The emotion on her face was always the one that she was feeling in her heart
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• It was hard to say hello. It was even harder to say goodbye.
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• When I was your age
• Back when grunge was still cool
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• There was a time when I was a better person
• There was a young lady of Riga
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• When I Was a Boy
• When H.A.R.L.I.E. Was One
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Because, perhaps she was cold
• When daddy was the handsome prince
• (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• When touch was simple
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• When I was ten years old
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• When I Was Born for the 7th Time
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• When I awoke, I was alone, and screaming
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• When I Was Cruel
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• When Frederic Was a Little Lad
• When I Was a Lad
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• All he left her was alone
• He Was Only Joking
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• Who shouted with glee when the colour blue was born?
• When Desire Was a Virtue
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity

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