Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "how can i be pussy whip'd i'm a virgin and i'm not getting laid any time soon"

• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• i'm trying not to be a prisoner of time
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• if i'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• I'm dreaming it so it must be true
• How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
• this is how i'm going to die.
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• I'm claiming the right to be unhappy
• Any poet can be a computer. Any computer can be a poet.
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• I'm not drinking any more
• I'm building the bridge in stone this time, lest someone drop a torch.
• Any song can be a love song
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• Ain't what I'm gonna be, ain't what I wanna be, but lord thank you I ain't what I used to be.
• Don't be an IM phantom
• How can a thinking, rational adult be a monotheist?
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• Can you tell I'm a man?
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• How can a thinking, rational adult be religious?
• I'm not even supposed to BE here today!
• All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
• I'm changing the climate! Ask me how
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• How to say "I'm crazy"
• How can something be more beautiful than it is?
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• I always sound Irish when I'm trying to be charming
• Strike me down - I'll be everything I'm not
• Any odd number can be expressed as the difference of two perfect squares
• OMG!!1 I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED AGAIN
• I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
• You can suck dick and still be a virgin, Mary
• How can you defend people you know to be guilty?
• I'm going to be a Dad
• I need to hold your hand. I'm getting numb.
• I'm not smart enough to use this trash can
• I'm never getting drunk again
• I'm All You Can Think About
• Someday soon, I'm going to save you from your life
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• I feel like I'm getting weaker, while Charlie's growing stronger in the jungle
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.
• The "I'm getting my first shot" cry
• I'm with Suneeta this evening, last time before we get engaged
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• How to be happy for a certain period of time
• I'm not doing it just to be weird
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty) - II
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty)
• how can words exist and not be acceptable?
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• How can a thinking, rational adult be a pandeist?
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• I'm not one to be had for the wanting, Sir
• How interracial coupling can be eugenic
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• If Huey Lewis Isn't Still Cool Then How Can I Be?
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• Imagine how happy you might be if you spent less time imagining how happy you might be.
• I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
• How can idealism be a bad thing?
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• I'm alive, I can prove it.
• I'm getting ahead of myself
• How can a thinking, rational adult be an atheist?
• Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• I'm starting to think the secret is to NOT be rich and prosperous. To be 'unsuccessful' (depending on who you ask)
• Proof that any filter can be extended to an ultrafilter
• I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
• I'm acquiring more bottles, tubes, and jars as time goes on
• How I insulted a Mormon, or reason #78345 I'm an Idiot
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• I think I'm getting distracted again
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• I'm here for a good time, not a long time
• I'm not sure I know how to neuter your cat
• There's so much to think about. I'm getting distracted.
• I can quit any time I want
• I'm a consumer whore... And how!
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• for a long time i was afraid i would forget; now i'm afraid i might not
• How complex can a public toilet be?
• How can vitality be achieved in figure painting?
• How can something so incredibly beautiful be so incredibly wrong?
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• We're not running out of electrons any time soon, but dreams are in short supply.
• How to be a polite smoker in a non-smoking world
• Beautiful that war and all its deeds of carnage must in time be utterly lost
• A fine time to be in the Army
• Can the Koran from Eternity be?
• How To Be Happy In A Sad, Sad World
• How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
• Valour can be brown
• Corny cartoon sunshields will ensure that you're not getting any
• Father, can I be the dawn now?
• Now he can be loved. Now he is no more.
• How to speak about women and be politically incorrect
• Any Time, Any Place, Anywhere
• Words that can be written on a calculator
• AT Fields can only be penetrated spiritually Fallacy
• How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
• How the Moon Came to Be
• Time travel, as I think of it, will never be invented
• Goops and How to be Them
• You can never be too rich or too thin
• This must be the night when I remember how to fly, when the breeze catches my weight at last
• Even simple things that you think are harmless can be dangerous. Like crayons. Like velvet.
• How To Be Good
• I secretly admire Cruella De Vil. PETA will be kicking down my door any second.
• Any time! Anywhere!
• Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to stupidity
• How to Be a Complete Bastard
• there are some things that can only be said at the top of a ferris wheel
• It can be cold in the dark
• an excess of anything can be a poison
• My entire genetic makeup can be entered on a single CD-Rom
• Can a straight guy be a gay flirt?
• Her perception of how gorgeous she is will be evident in her lack of movement during sex
• Bare feet can be as sexy as bare breasts
• How to solve any number sequence puzzle
• How to be a troll
• This is Saturday. We're not getting any older.
• When time travel in science fiction just doesn't make any sense
• How to lose your temper, your job and any last traces of respect for Management
• There will be time, there will be time, to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet
• How to learn any skateboarding trick
• How to be Exceptionally Friendly
• How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
• Be cool in college
• How to be a Jackass in your own home
• Beggars CAN be choosers
• Opening a command prompt in Windows
• As any fool can plainly see
• How to be a Romantic Poet
• how to simulate any random variable by tossing a coin
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• There are times when they seem to be right
• Why fab might be going on an all-smoothie diet soon
• TV can be a good thing
• I can break into any Ford Expedition in an hour
• How to turn any number into a 9
• How to be a convincing teenage girl on IRC
• Any time is Trinidad time
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• Foods which can be eaten raw
• how to be a friend
• Three-year-old boys can be cool
• How to be an asshole
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• I find evolution to be a woefully inadequate theory until it can explain the following:
• Why procrastination can be productive
• Could you be any more of a poseur? 'Changes' was a best-of!
• How to be a Gangsta (in 5 simple steps)
• Can my nodes be used against me in a court of law?
• There can be only one
• How to Be a Charismatic Cult Leader
• Reality can only be predicted on a statistical basis
• homosexuals can be Roman Catholic priests
• The largest number that can be described in 14 words or less
• How the Sun Came to Be
• How to approach a developer who may well be working and ask him a question
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?

If you Log in you could create a "how can i be pussy whip'd i'm a virgin and i'm not getting laid any time soon" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.