"She has a striking resemblance to Betty White. But then so many witches do."
Paul Lynde established himself in the 1960s and in the 70s held the center square on Hollywood Squares. His campy, zingy humour made him a popular guest elsewhere. ABC signed him to a contract. Like most breakout characters, however, too much Paul Lynde proved to be, well, too much. Neither The Paul Lynde Show nor Temperatures Rising1 caught on. As a result, the second half of the 1970s saw him helm a handful of one-shot specials, all pretty much forgotten, save for the Halloween '76 offering. It has been reposted online, and excerpts illegally traded at record shows and legally included in a certain rock band's video offerings. It was finally released for re-consumption once someone found the original tapes, and Amazon Prime has offered it among their listings.
It has achieved its level of cult fame despite being, overall, not particularly good.
It does, however, have one of the most remarkable, most seventies guest-lists of all time, a roster Donny and Marie could only dream of for their show-- after they went home following their cameo appearance. Margaret Hamilton and Billie Hayes reprise their roles as the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz and Witchiepoo from H.R. Pufnstuf. Florence Henderson, Tim Conway, Billy Barty, Betty White, and Roz Kelly provide support for the special's second-rate comedy sketches. That's Mrs. Brady (the Bunch were still going strong in after-school reruns), the most popular supporting player from the hit Carol Burnett Show, the world's then-most famous dwarf, Betty White (then associated with The Mary Tyler Moore Show) and Pinky Tuscadero. Pinky had been introduced as Fonzie's new, supposedly permanent girlfriend on the top-rated show Happy Days, and the network was promoting her hard. Kelly's failure to get along with the rest of the cast, allegedly, led to her quick exit.2 A bevy of Halloween dancers disco their way through the finale. Florence Henderson sings.
Most of the musical interludes, however, are presented by Kiss, whose most recent albums, Alive! and Destroyer, had rocketed them into the mainstream and a level of fame few could ever dream of, and which they themselves would never see again.
In short, Paul Lynde serves up a cheese platter seasoned exactly for October 29, 1976.
We begin with Paul Lynde, performing opening numbers for various holiday specials. Each time, his crotchety housekeeper informs him he has the wrong holiday. Yeah, I know. My sides. It turns out he knows it's Halloween, but he supposedly hates it, because kids always prank him. He then breaks out into a rendition of "Kids" from Bye Bye Birdie.3 It ends disastrously, with a group of trick-or-treating kids, led by Donny and Marie, pranking him.
After an escape to the country, the housekeeper reveals she's really the Wicked Witch of the West. Together with her associate, Wilhelmina Witchiepoo, they hire Lynde to help improve the public image of witches. In return, they grant him three wishes. The wishes lead to various sketches, none of them as funny as their set-up, despite considerable supporting talent. Even Tim Conway does not live up to the accompanying laugh track, and that's saying quite a bit. Roz Kelly appears in a sketch connected to CB Radio, then a major fad4 She's basically playing her Happy Days character, here called "Kinky Pinky."
Cleavage-baring Kelly aside, the draw, for many viewers (or at least, most 12-year-old boys) was Kiss. It was the first time many of us saw our new rock 'n' roll heroes lip-synch play: "Detroit Rock City," "Beth," and a truncated "King of the Night-time World," all from Destroyer. And the highlight, even in a recent second viewing, is Lynde's very staged interview with the band, in which they play their character concepts as straight men to Lynde's comic. The surreal contrast elevates exchanges like, "You had a fight, and your mothers told you to kiss and make up." Lynde laughs at his own joke. Kiss remains silent, so the host asks how long it takes them to put on their trademark cosmetics. Gene Simmons demonically replies that they're not wearing any. Lynde tells him to go "push the down button on" his "elevator shoes."
Television has delivered some genuine quality offerings. This isn't one of them. It does manage the other role that TV has so often filled, a down-to-the-nanosecond record of recent history, pop culture, and trends, chronicling things often forgotten, and perhaps a few we wish we could.
1. Temperatures Rising is an odd case, a faltering hospital-based sitcom that had seen one less-than-stellar season and so was retooled, with the now series-less Paul Lynde dropped in as a new major character. The change did not save the show.
2. The role of recurrent tough girl went instead to Suzi Quatro as "Leather" Tuscadero, supposedly Pinky's kid sister, while Fonzie returned to his endless succession of short-term girlfriends. Pinky turned up at least once more in a Happy Days-related show, but she never again graced the parent series. The Fonzie/Pinky romance was immortalized in the 1977 edition of Bally's Eight ball pinball machine, with a copyright-challenging backglass that clearly depicts the pair playing pool in an Arnold's Diner-esque locale. The 1984 re-make of the machine changes those visuals. The original has become a collector's edition.
3. Lynde sang the song in the film adaptation.
4. Much to the annoyance of many actual truckers.