He told me he thought of me all day, me.. mixed in with all of those other thoughts
floating around in his mind and I found myself
wondering why that made me smile. I found myself twisting this reality into something else, an
alternative reality so to speak, so that I could deal with
it in a way that made just a bit more
sense. I believed him when he said it, that's the
problem. In my alternative reality I believed it and it was good to believe, it was the
right thing, as opposed to the utter
confusion it holds here in my
primary reality.
He makes me
smile like few can anymore, since all of that stuff that seems almost
secondary now happened. But it's not secondary, it's
right there, right there kind of haunting, drifting in and out of my mind but mostly
in. I don't want to
fall in love, not now.. I don't think he wants to either, but I don't know.. it's all
quite strange, and it feels almost as if I fell from my reality into this alternative, rather than just taking a
glimpse as per usual.
I remember thinking, at some time or another, that
if I could, I'd probably
choose to live in the reality I'm used to, just because I've grown tired of so much
change. I don't know anymore though, I think I saw something really
neat there, in that other place that I've yet to
explore fully.. it was probably
him. It's just.. what happens to this reality if I
delve into another? I'm almost afraid to
let it slip away..
"It's
crazy what you could've had..
I need this, I need this.." -
Michael Stipe