Happy hour with Tom & Lyd, and Maria last night. Spent over an hour reconnecting in a very good, nice, almost trusting yet a bit wary way with Tom. He told me a little about his horrific childhood, which explains his self-hatred so well.
We talked again about what happened between us, and why I left the relationship when I did. I reminded him that I could feel myself beginning to fall in love with him; as he and Lyd were married and committed, and I knew I would never be number one, I had to go. There was no way I was going to put myself through that kind of pain. And he told me how often I come up in his therapy, how I'm one of the few people who he hasn't angered or turned on in order to get them to leave him, thus validating his self-hate. He had a terrible childhood - his parents sound like thugs. Unfeeling, self-absorbed brutes who couldn't be there for him in any real way. No wonder he still hates himself; they taught him well.
He also listened to me, and to me explain myself a little more. It was very good, very helpful...and the sexual tension continues between us. He said it perfectly - "my mind says no but my body says yes".... perhaps we did know each other in another life...