The following conversation was conducted between
me (Sheepy JFK) and a certain friend of mine who can be found on
E2 here.
The
conversation occured late at night, via
AOL Instant Messager.
Sheepy JFK: Just sometimes. I get starved for.... something....
Mangojusz:
affection? A nice
talk? Or just a
Sarah?
Sheepy JFK: And I get all
sentimental, and start thinking how I don't want to
LOOSE her, when in fact all I do when we go out is prove to
myself that I've not only lost her, but we're rapidly growing apart.
Sheepy JFK: I'm a totally different
Miles than when I was with
her.
Sheepy JFK: and she still treats me like the old Miles. And she's a vastly different
Sarah, and I don't know what to do with the new one, or the memories of the old one.
Mangojusz:
she's probalby the same way miles
That's really the most important tid-bit of the conversation.
At the time, talking about this really tore me apart, because the girl in question (
Sarah Elizabeth Armstrong) still really tears me apart.
Basically, the few lines in this node made me realize how I was viewing things through my own distorted opinions, rather than subjectively.
More and more in my life I've seen that people can't remove themselves from a situation, instead of changing themselves in order to view something more clearly, or at least putting their opinions (in this case, my feelings) aside to see a situation better, people (myself included, of course) will continue to be confused and baffled by what is going on around them. I tend to blame other people for "changing" (as I did above).
An
Ani DiFranco lyric, to state my point:
"
Everytime i say something
they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear"
From "
Not a Pretty Girl".